Monthly Archives: April 2017

Resolve Disagreements About Sex

It’s normal for long-term romantic couples to disagree from time to time about topics as diverse as child-rearing, household finances, and, of course, sex. But how do intimate partners behave differently when discussing sexual and non-sexual matters?

It’s an important question to answer because research suggests that couples find sexual communication especially difficult. By uncovering the behavioral patterns unique to discussions about sex, a team of psychologists from the University of Waterloo in Ontario and the University of Dayton, Ohio, hoped to identify how relationship counselors might assist couples with problems in the bedroom. They ran a study in which partners identified problems in their relationship and discussed these problems as a couple. The results of the study were recently published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Uzma Rehman, who led the team, invited 115 male/female couples to her laboratory. Upon arrival, the men and women were directed to separate rooms, where they completed a battery of questionnaires about their relationships. One of these questionnaires asked the volunteers about their experiences with 20 sources of non-sexual relationship conflict; another asked about sexual problems.

The partners had to rate the extent to which each topic was a problem in their own relationships. The list of potential relationship problems included “housework,” “how to spend vacation time,” “starting interesting conversations,” and “spending time on outside activities.” The list of sources of sexual conflict included “paying attention to sexual needs,” “amount of foreplay,” “sexual attraction to someone other than the partner,” “premature orgasm,” and “viewing pornography alone,” among others.

A pair of research assistants collected the completed questionnaires and compared each man and woman’s responses. The research assistants selected a topic as the subject for a discussion between the partners if both partners identified that topic as a problem for their relationship, and each desired change in the opposite direction (say, if both partners thought frequency of sex was a problem in their relationship, and one partner wanted more sex while the other wanted less).

The assistants chose one sexual and one non-sexual topic for each couple.

Next, each couple was reunited in a laboratory fitted with video cameras. They were asked to discuss each topic for eight minutes. While the partners discussed the topics, the cameras were rolling, recording their every word and gesture. Sounds relaxing!


Once the discussions were through, and the volunteers thanked and sent on their way, it was the job of the research assistants to view the videos. Rehman was interested in whether the volunteers behaved with warmth or hostility, and with dominance or submission. She wanted to know how the volunteers’ behavior varied on these two dimensions from moment to moment.

The research assistants received eight hours training on how to spot warm, hostile, dominant, and submissive behavior. Then they seated themselves comfortably in front of a monitor, hit play, and grabbed their joysticks.

Yes, that’s right: their joysticks. The assistants’ computers were equipped with arcade-style controllers that the assistants had to pull to the left if the volunteer’s behavior was hostile, and to the right if the volunteer was warm. They pushed forward if the volunteer was dominant, and pulled backward if the volunteer was submissive.

Know The Best of Bisexual Dating Sites

The B in LGBT stands for Bisexual but people who identify with this sexual orientation are often neglected and look down up. The mere fact that bisexuals can hook up with people of either gender or sexual orientation paints them as being greedy, a character trait that has won them a lot of enemies in the LGBT community. A gay man will not gladly hook up with a bisexual man fearing that he leave him for a relationship with a woman. That’s still the case with women and a lesbian would think twice before hooking up with a bisexual woman fearing that she may leave her for a man. Straight people also have reservations with dating people who identify as bisexual claiming that most bisexuals could be using them as a bridge before they ‘come out’ as either gays or lesbians. If that’s not enough, bisexuals are seen as promiscuous and the type who sleeps with everyone but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Bisexuals just like other humans are emotion-driven individuals and they would only get intimate with people they trust and have feelings for. The “sleep-with-everyone” misconception is therefore wrong and misguided.

Challenges in dating.

Bisexuals, therefore, face a lot of challenges in their quest for love and intimacy. Most resort to hiding their true identities from their partners but the results of this is usually a subdued personality and frustrations later in life. Fortunately for bisexuals, there are warm and inviting avenues for finding love and intimacy in the form of websites for bisexual and bi-curious. Bisexuals and those who are still at the experimental stage will find like-minded individuals on these platforms for fun, love, and play. The advantage of these sites is that they are free of the hate and judgment that is usually directed towards bisexuals by other members of the society. You will also find online bisexual dating guide that will help you in your quest for love and intimacy as a bisexual.

Online Bisexual Dating sites

Online bisexual dating sites are open to anyone and all you have to do is to register an account on the platform. The key to finding a good match for you is a good profile. Your profile should include a picture that shows you in the best possible way. It should also include your hobbies, likes, and preference as well as what you are looking for in a partner. Once your profile is live, other members on the platform will be able to view it and interested parties would gladly reach out to you. Once you meet someone you like on the dating site, you can arrange a meeting where you can meet for a chat as you get to know each other better.

Tips To Playing on Team Relationship

You can’t be in a relationship only for yourself. Both parties have to give 100 percent to get 100 percent. If you are part of a strong team, you can accomplish much more than any two individuals on their own. And it’s very empowering to know that the one you love is covering your blind side. It can give you the confidence you need to be your best.

If you doubt your partner’s loyalty, the opposite occurs. You become insecure and then start to protect yourself, perhaps leaving your partner emotionally stranded. It’s not a good way to go through life, and you can’t have a successful relationship if you are playing on opposite teams.

The truth is you will never agree on everything. It just isn’t possible. But if you can refrain from being disagreeable toward one another, the sweet life you can create is what we all dream of. The next time you have a disagreement with the one you love, think to yourself, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be in a relationship?” Asking yourself this question can calm things down in a big way.

I’ve lost enough games and had enough negativity in my life to know the value of being on a good team and having a supportive partner. Bad things will happen in your life; unfortunately you can count on it. But if you stay in the moment and don’t let past difficulties color your perception of what’s going on now, you will overcome most of what life can throw at you. Just remember that the most important thing is the team: the two of you and the ones you love.

A good tool for working on your relationship is to create a wish list of fun things you would like to do with your partner. You can start by listing three or four things you would like to do in the next few weeks. These should be fun things that are easy to do, and each of you should be willing to go along with the other’s list. In effect, you and your partner are granting each other a wish, so don’t put anything on the list that will cause major conflict.

Another idea is to talk about the distant future and what you want your lives to look like. By doing so, you are creating a treasure map to your own happiness. A long-term plan can help you stay on the right path toward achieving your goals. But keep it simple. With the passing of time, it’s the little things that can be the most fulfilling. You don’t have to score a touchdown every time you leave the house.

Moving forward through life with your teammate by your side seems ideal to me. Some couples may want more space, but I enjoy doing most everything with the one I love. She makes doing even the daily household tasks enjoyable. You see, we have chosen not to make life a chore but to enjoy this gift that we’ve been given of being with each other. Honest and truly, that is all we need